Classic Symptoms

Puzzler time.

This one is not very interesting, but it is automotive! So we are doing it. Here we go.

A fellow comes into the shop a few years ago, I don't know, maybe about 20 years ago, and he complains that his Volvo, an older Volvo, is misbehaving.

It seems to lose power. It sputters. It has difficulty climbing hills. And it's especially bad if the gas tank is less than half full.

And we said, "Piece of cake!"

It must be a classic problem of the in-tank fuel pump going bad. Years ago, Volvos had a pump in the tank, which is a feeder pump, which pushes the fuel to the main fuel pump, which is located outside the tank, underneath the car. So when the in-tank pump fails, the car will still continue to run, because the main pump will actually pull fuel out of the tank, rather than have it pushed and assisted by this feeder pump or in-tank pump.

But it won't work great, and the car will suffer from poor performance because of the fact that it hasn't got sufficient fuel pressure. These are classic symptoms.

So the guy says, "You guys are so sure of this diagnosis, go ahead and replace the pump."

So we do the job.

And then, week or two later, he returns and says, "Geez, the car runs great, but my mileage is down. You all must have done something."

I said, "How could we have done anything to affect the mileage?"

He says, "It's off at least 10%."

He comes back persistently a few weeks later and says, "It's down even more, maybe 15% and getting worse, you did something wrong!"

We reassure him that we did nothing wrong. He says, "I know it has something to do with that pump you put in the tank."

So as a courtesy, we check out his car again. We can't find anything wrong.

Well, he returns for the third time, and after looking at all the data, we come to realize that he's right, his mileage is going down.

And even though we did nothing wrong putting in the new pump, it somehow made his mileage drop.

He was absolutely right. Even though the work we did was correct, putting the new pump in made his mileage drop precipitously.

The repair was done correctly. The pump was installed perfectly correctly, and yet, he was correct that by putting in the pump we reduced his gas mileage.

How could this be?

Good luck.

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Remember last week's puzzler?

Half of Five

Puzzler time!

This one is very short. Because the last one was very long.

Here we go.

Years ago my neighbor Frank says to me, "I have five children."

And I said, "Yes, I know that."

And then he says, "Half of them are boys."

And I said, "Wait, what?"

And the puzzler is, can you explain what he means by this?

Find out here »

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fastallan13
Congratulations! This correct answer was chosen at random by our Web Lackeys.

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Thursday, April 3, 2025

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Half of Five

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Remember last week's puzzler?

Three Girlfriends

This one is kind of automotive.

Here we go.

Long, long ago, when he was just a young lad, one of our producers had three girlfriends at the same time. He was a young guy at the time. This was before dating apps, so he had to actually go see them instead of just texting them.

Anyway, he was juggling these three girls. On Monday, he would visit one. On Tuesday another. And another on Wednesday. And then he'd repeat the process. Thursday visit number one, Friday number two, Saturday number three, etc, etc. You get the idea.

And each time he would make one of these visits, he would drive his car. But before he could drive the car, because it was a junker, he had to go through a little ritual. He would open the hood and he'd have to top up the coolant because the car leaked coolant. He had to top up the power steering fluid. He had to fill up the oil because he was burning oil like crazy, blue smoke out of the tailpipe all the time.

So he follows this procedure with each visit to each girl. And since he has this complete jalopy, which is very recognizable, he pulls up the the girl's driveway and then drives as far in the woods as he can so that his car won't be recognized. He does this for girlfriend number one, and then on Tuesday for girlfriend number two, and on Wednesday, girlfriend number three.

But when he pulls up to girlfriend number three's house, an interesting thing happens. Fire erupts under the hood. The thing bursts into flames. At which point he jumps out of the car, removes his pants and beats out the flames. And then when the fire has finally subsided, he stashes the car, goes to her house and tries to explain to her parents why he's coming to meet her with no pants on.

So this goes on and on. Girlfriend number one, no problem. Number two, no problem. But every time he visits girlfriend number three, same problem. The car catches fire under the hood. He can't explain it. He takes this as an omen, and dumps the other two girlfriends and keeps girlfriend number three, because any girl who can put up with him showing up without his pants has got to be worth it.

So the puzzler is, what is it about his visit to girlfriend number three which causes this huge issue under the hood, and ultimately causes him to have to give up his pant?